Tatyana Wilson is a teacher of English and a leading consultant on preparing students to study in the United Kingdom at James&William Consultancy Ltd, as well as the author of the book “To England with Love”. This book is about how to become “one of them” among these strange and haughty Englishmen, who keep amazing the world with their ability to preserve their individuality even amid common European integration.
We will be glad to publish some chapters of the book that will help you prepare for a trip to England and feel more confident in this country.
Reserve
In England it is not customary to display your grievances, problems or grief — this has always been considered working class behaviour.
If you consider yourself a member of the so-called upper middle class, you must keep the stiff upper lip. Only at home, alone with yourself, are you allowed to relax and give free rein to your feelings; in public, please be cool, calm and collected, keep smiling, and, should the occasion arise, you may even crack a joke.
People from the continent easily mistake the English emotional restraint for hypocrisy. The philosophy of “keep your emotions to yourself” can be too tiresome for ordinary Europeans, and to some extent their reaction is quite natural; but on the other hand, the desire not to burden others with one’s grief and to bear discomfort and trouble without complaint is admirable — and it is all relative. Once, when we complained about the poor transport service in London — “How on earth do you put up with this!” — our colleague remarked: “That’s nothing; you put up with it for 70 years!” And, as if to confirm this, during one of the Underground strikes we came across a sign in the London Tube: If you think your travel is hell, try and catch the 1815 to Waterloo — a hint at the Battle of Waterloo, where the French were defeated.
Paradoxically, the love of expressing individuality does not in the least prevent the English from being great conservatives. They greatly dislike changing their habits, lifestyle, food or clothing.
The Queen had not changed her hairstyle for 60 years, Prince Charles prefers a grey suit, and Princess Anne is known as a great lover of salmon, which she could eat three times a day.
And how many problems newcomers from the continent have with driving on the left!
The English, however, are not bothered by this at all. When we were leaving London for a few days in Paris, the landlady of the flat where we stayed gave us this parting advice: “Be careful on the streets. Those crazy French do everything the other way round.” And it was useless to explain that with the French everything is actually fine — it’s you, excuse me……
These are not merely amusing examples. They reflect the way a nation thinks and illustrate the English resistance to change of any kind. That is probably why so much in England has remained unchanged for hundreds of years.
English humour
The peculiarity of English humour is well known. A sense of humour is a national trait, and it frightens and irritates many foreigners. No one wants to find themselves in an awkward situation, having missed a companion’s joke or failed to respond to a barbed remark addressed to them. In no other country do people know how to laugh at themselves as they do in England.
There are no barriers for humour. The English laugh at anything that can raise a smile, including what has been considered sacred for ages — the powers that be, the government and even members of the royal family.
A good joke is most often improvised. You walk into a major store on Oxford Street and hear a salesman enthusiastically advertising his goods, having to ask customers several times not to crowd at the entrance. Seeing that no one responds to his appeals, he interrupts his speech and says in a very businesslike tone: Excuse me, are you stupid or are you not English?
In the Underground, during a heavy downpour, you hear an announcement: Temple Station is closed because of unprecedented behaviour of the passengers. They refused to leave the station because of the rain.
Humour pursues the visitor everywhere: in television programmes, announcements and advertising. Native speakers no longer feel it so keenly — it is a way of thinking that you have to adapt to and respond to appropriately, always ready to answer a joke in the most unexpected circumstances.
It is not customary to take offence at a joke, and the ability to laugh at oneself is considered a virtue. Your reaction to humour is a kind of test of the possibility of further partnership.
A sense of humour is valued in all spheres of life and at all levels of society. During her visit to the USA, Queen Elizabeth II delivered a welcome speech to members of Congress, but the podium with the microphone was set too high for her height, and those present could see only her hat. Many barbed remarks were made about this in the press, and when, during her second visit, the Queen addressed Congress, she began with the words: Dear gentlemen, I hope you can see me now. The response was a burst of laughter.
To be continued.
